Subject: Parody of all things Summers, brought to you by Tapestry Date: 15 Mar 1997 03:01:19 GMT From: malfam 'Twas a Lovely Summer's Day... ------------------------------ From the peaceful Summer's home Where space aliens and empathic dragons once did roam Resounded a might and intimidating CRASH! 'Cause Scott's ex was looking for some heads to bash. Maddie: "Abandon me for Jean, you little S.O.B? Well, I've died at least as many times as she! Jean, if you're in here, you sure as #*&! better run, Because I'm still after you for stealing my son!" Scott: "Which one, dear? We have two now... or is it three? Damn, now even *I* can't keep track of my family tree! Jean, can you get the scoresheet for a sec? I guess now's as good a time as any to check..." M: "Don't change the subject, you wretch! I know about them all (and one was quite a catch...) This is about you and me, and Jeannie there, Because now *I* get to whine about how my life's unfair!" Jean: "Oh? And how's that? You made poor Scott obsessive..." S: "And it didn't help that I'm already depressive!" J: "...Left your baby, seduced your husband's *brother*-- Oh, yeah, you were *such* a responsible mother!" S: "You made a pact with a demon to sacrifice our son on an alter And to add insult to injury, all you wore was a cape and a halter! M: "You can't deny that in the end he didn't come out safe (And God in Heaven, did that thing ever chafe!)" Then Maddie threw a couch, intent on Scott's imminent doom, So Jean snuck up behind her and got her with a broom. Of course, Bobby chose this instant to enter and proclaim with a shout: "All right, I admit it. Hey guys, I'm finally coming out!" They stopped and looked at him (apparently all stuck for a rhyme) And Bobby blinked back and said, "Um, did I come at a bad time?" Maddie sneered at him and pulled taut a strip of piano wire And, to his credit, Bobby knew enough to chalk the threat up to 'Dire'. As Bobby scampered off there was a pregnant silence Until, of course, there was a resume in the excessive violence. Chairs, tables, and the occasional optic blast flew here and there, And for a while the only conversation was when a curse pierced the air. J: "Who is it that ensures no one ever stays dead?" S: "Actually, I don't think it matters -- unless you're a red-head. Do you want to say good-bye now, or wait a while longer?" J: "I don't care anymore. I'll only come back again, and probably stronger. "What's this?" came a voice. "Clone problems, you say? Why didn't you call me? That's my special of the day!" There in the doorway stood a tall, Sinister man, Who looked as if he was in desperate need of a good tan. Jean looked angry, Maddie looked scared, Scott began to rant, and, as usual, nobody cared. Sinister merely smiled and tipped his designer hat (?!) And stepped into the house before he was pounded into a doormat. SI: "My dear children, there's no need to fight!" S: "Like hell there isn't! Get out of our sight!" J: "I don't care what you say, *you're* the one who started this mess, And (aside from plot contrivance) the reason I can't even guess." SI: "You misinterpert my intentions, I shan't make trouble -- I wish only to relieve Ms. Grey of her wayward double." J: "Last time you tried you nearly destroyed my brain. What's to stop you from trying again?" The clone in question looked royally p-- uh... dissed. M: "In't anyone going to let *me* have any say in this?!" The other three answered with a resounding "NO!" And, unfortunatly, Maddie had finally run out of things to throw. Meanwhile, Sinister outlined a cunning plan of injections and chemicals While Scott and Jean debated whether to declare his ideas polemical. But just as Maddie began to state that this she would not allow She suffered an unfortunate accident in which her head was taken exception by a falling mutant cow. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Well, that's it. Hope it was somwhat amusing -- it was, after all, just a little ditty I couldn't resist typing, and not to be taken seriously. If anyone wants to post this on their page, kindly contact moi, Tapestry, at malfam@inlink.com 'cause I would would sure be appreciated ('specially since I had to type this whole thing by hand, 'cause my system won't allow Paste or attachments ). :) Yer Standard Disclaimer: None of these characters of mine and are being used without any permission whatsoever, but that shouldn't matter, since I'm not getting paid for it.