When She Was Wrong
J. Travis

Note: I owe a huge debt of thanks to my beta-reader, Linne, this wouldn't be going half as quickly as it is w/out her. Second, this is going to be a Tara/Spike. Yes, I know the canon. Tara is gay, but in my world, she's bi because I say so-this is my playground. For those who didn't read the first warning, this is not a Buffy or Willow friendly story. It's just started, but I don't plan to make life easy for the deluded duo. Most of the time, I just loved Buffy, but season six Buffy was a human being I grew to loathe.

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer doesn't belong to me or I'd be making piles of money. It's the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, FOX, and anyone else who legally owns a piece of it. I'm sad it doesn't belong to me, but I promise to put the toys away neatly and turn the lights out when I'm done.

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The Magic Box was hopping for a Tuesday afternoon, not that Anya or Giles minded. For a time, Giles considered going home to England, but he couldn't bear to leave Buffy after all she'd been through. When Tara, the one stabilizing influence, left the Summers' home, his resolve to leave was completely burned away. Besides, Travers made it clear things were going to be worse. Ancient prophecies were often confusing, and Buffy already reforged many garbled verses into a new metal. She was certainly emotionally stronger last year facing Glory, but Giles believed time would help. Still, things were very different, and Buffy Summers walked in shadows Giles couldn't begin to comprehend. On the flip side, Anya couldn't help but comment on the Slayer's mentality which irritated Giles past reason. Tact was not her forte.

"Anya, must you bury yourself in those silly bridal magazines when there's a rather large crowd about?" Giles asked, "I cannot be expected to keep up with all these customers on my own."

Anya looked up from the latest issue of Bride Magazine and asked, "Did you say something? Oh wait, is this one of those times when I'm supposed to pay attention to you? I told you to hire a temp, Giles, this wedding is time consuming; it's forcing Xander to eat massive quantities of Doritos and Twinkies. Sometimes together. Oh, I know! Call Willow or Tara. They're good with people and useful because they don't require monetary compensation for doing our jobs."

"ANYA! It's..it's..." Giles spluttered.

"It's what? Unacceptable to use our friends? Why? Buffy uses us all the time Giles, and we don't get paid to slay. If it's Willow, and you don't want her around the heavy magics, fine, I'll call Tara."

"My God, woman! Oh, do be quiet for a moment, and put that bloody magazine in your purse or I'll be forced to do something drastic," he snapped back at her, "I'll--I'll buy you that rabbit shaped tea pot for your wedding gift! This very minute, Anya Emmanuella Whatever You Call Yourself Jenkins, I will march out that door and purchase the offensive item and have it wrapped for your wedding."

Horror crossed Anya's features, "OKAY! But if I don't have time to look through this magazine at some point today, I'm sure my bridesmaids will look like hell, Rupert Giles, and it will be your fault. I'll have to settle on something tacky. Buffy will kill me and then Xander will mourn, but you'll be happy knowing I helped you with a few customers. Customers, might I add, who are too stupid to know that slug candles are anything but sexy," Anya's voice rose dramatically as she turned toward the sales floor only to find it empty, "AHH!! Look what you did, Giles, you made the people who give me money leave! Silent partner, huh!"

Giles stared at the woman in amazement, "Me? I see, then you never raised your voice--"

"Not one more word, not one. I am going to choose dresses for the girls." With a stomp of her foot, Anya grabbed her magazine and sat at the recently empty table. Every now and then she stopped to glare at Giles, but he took the high road and ignored her. In many ways, staying made things more difficult, but the hardest part for Giles was watching their little family crumble. With Anya and Xander focused on their nuptials, their distraction couldn't really be blamed or helped. Willow, on the other hand, was slipping away from all of them rather quickly, and Giles wasn't certain how to help. Buffy? She was so closed off from him-distant. His charge was always good at hiding her true feelings, but her lack of connection with the people around here felt so unlike her. It was disturbing.

Yet, he found Tara's phone call more distressing than Buffy's distance, and he supposed it was part of why he kept snapping at Anya. She and Spike wanted to meet with them later in the day, but he couldn't understand why Tara would choose to spend time with Spike. He offered to call Buffy for the meeting, but Tara's adamant stand against it was enough to stop Giles. All Tara would disclose is that the matter was of grave importance to all of them, and it might mean more than a little research. She also made it known Willow was to be kept as far from this meeting as humanly possible. As the day ticked away, Giles felt more nervous while considering the possibilities, but he refrained from discussing the call with Anya.

The afternoon bled into twilight; Giles and Anya busied themselves with closing shop. Neither noticed the door open since each was lost in thoughts of personal problems. When Spike cleared his throat, the shopkeepers jumped simultaneously.

"Spike," Giles groused, "Don't sneak up on us like that, and don't stand in the doorway. Come in or go, but you're blocking the way for legitimate customers."

"Customers, Rupes? Looked like you and Demon-girl were closing up shop a bit early to me. Tara an' me are the customers anyway...sort of. You already knew that," Spike sniped back at Giles.

"Tara, do come in, but what on earth are you doing with him? You know, we've all missed you terribly," Giles said as soon as he saw the young witch, "Spike, you could've at least held the door for her."

"In case you hadn't noticed, Watcher, she practically shoved me in here. Not enough sun to do any damage, but it's nice to know someone doesn't want me in an ashcan."

This wouldn't be a good night to chat with Mr. Giles if the two men couldn't stop nitpicking, Tara thought. Maybe it was best to get to the point. "Spike? Stop, please," she asked the battered vampire, "Giles, we need to..uhhh...talk about a lot of things. Anya, I need your help too if that's okay, but I'm guessing Giles told you we were coming."

"Yes, of course I'll help, Tara, you're easy to be nice to because you're nice to everyone unlike some people," Anya answered scowling away at Giles, "even though it's an imposition and ruins any chances I have of finding a decent bridesmaid dress for Buffy, I'll be happy to help you. By the way, Giles neglected to inform me you'd be here."

Tara found it difficult not to laugh at this speech, but who knew what Anya would do if she so much as smiled? It was bad enough persuading Spike to come to The Magic Box, a job that had taken all day, and Spike only agreed on the condition that his relationship with Buffy remained a secret. As for the resident wedding planner, Tara wouldn't dream of hurting her feelings or poking fun. Truthfully, Anya would also provide a second buffer between Giles and Spike, and she couldn't risk offending the other woman who might also be able to offer some information.

"Thanks, Anya," the witch smiled brightly, "I'm sorry to interrupt your planning, but maybe I can make it up to you and help with some of it."

Xander's fiance quickly turned on Giles, "See? Manners! That's all you had to do earlier was say please and apologize for being rude. Tara is obviously the better example of human customs and niceties in this little group."

"Rude? You little guttersnipe--"

"Alright! Enough already. Tara, why do we need them? We coulda' just nicked the books and gotten out right quick if you let me do it my way," Spike interjected.

Sighing, Tara looked at the three unlikely potential allies in her cause, but now was as good a time as any to start talking, "I need help, Mr. Giles, with research. Anya, you've been around a long time, I need you to try and remember anyone else like...," Tara didn't want to say this part, "B-b-buffy. Brought back like she was, I mean, a slayer specifically. Spike, I swear I won't let anything happen to you, but you're helping means telling him what you can," she said pointing at Rupert Giles.

Anya, looking like a cat on a fishing boat, smiled and happily said, "This isn't work! I love sharing tales of Vengeance Demon Days. It's nice to know that someone wants to hear about my past without using the information just to kill things. You're not killing anything, right?"

Tara shook her head, "Not that I know of."

"Tara, what seems to be the trouble? It occurs to me this is even more important than you made it sound," Giles said.

Not wanting to give all the details to Giles, Tara explained that Buffy came to her searching for answers. While nothing in Tara's spell casting indicated there was anything wrong, other signs forced her to admit something wasn't right. Since much of this was Spike's story to tell, she thought it best the chip part came from him. Even Anya listened with rapt attention, but telling a Watcher his Slayer was a bit off seemed to pale in comparison to Willow's odd behavior this morning. Neither Giles nor Anya was prepared for that story, and both appeared worried, a little shocked, and even somewhat afraid for Tara. She appreciated their words of support. Now for the hard part, she thought.

"There's more, Mr. G-giles, you need to know. The reason Buffy thinks something is wrong with her, um," Tara chewed nervously at her lower lip, "Spike? It's your turn."

"Well, Rupes, Buffy an' me got ourselves in a bit of a spat. She hit me, I hit her, but chip didn't fire. Afterwards I tried to hurt someone else, and it was working just fine. Now, before you get ready to stake me--"

"What? Why didn't she tell me herself? Spike," Giles raged, "if you harmed her in any way--"

"Watcher, listen to me--"

"No, I suggest you listen this instant. If Buffy has so much as a hangnail after your little 'spat' last night, I'll make what Angelus did to me look like Christmas morning for the kiddies by the time you and I are done," Giles stated in a quiet and sinister voice.

Tara ran to stand between the two men, "Stop it. Now. There's more to the story, Mr. Giles, but you're not helping anyone, including Buffy. We need to research Willow's spell, and I'll say this only once, Spike hasn't harmed Buffy or anyone else in a long time, remember that."

"Oh Tara, don't be naive. He says he's in love with Buffy, but he'll hurt her the first chance he gets," Giles curtly voiced.

"He already had that chance, Mr. Giles, he didn't take it," Tara stated.

"This is my part, pet, I'll tell the rest...just stay, 'kay? Rupert, there's no easy way to say this, but your Slayer and me have been a lot closer lately," Giles eyes widened and Tara stepped near Spike, "We do some talking, yelling, and fighting, and she confides in me. Still, she says one bit to me an' another to your lot-lies. Not just about important stuff anymore. Though I guess that's bad enough. She remembers a little piece of heaven, Watcher, I think she wants it back. I'll help if I can. At least she's not in jail, Rupes, saw that on the telly this morning."

"We saw the reports as well, and Buffy called. She made no mention of seeing you last night even when I asked her. Obviously, she has taken to lying."

"There you are then, mate, maybe she'll talk to you about the rest of it," Spike replied.

Giles queried, "There's more?"

"None of it's my place to tell," Spike answered.

"You think you can walk in here, give me half truths regarding my Slayer and expect me to help?" The threatening tone in Giles' voice belonged to a man he considered his past, Ripper.

"Mr. Giles, please," Tara intervened. She didn't want anyone hurt, but she really hated the idea of Giles staking Spike when Buffy herself wasn't the only injured party in that non-relationship. She hadn't encouraged Spike to discuss the intimate nature of his affair with the Slayer, and she glad she hadn't. Tara just wanted to leave. She could hope Giles would understand, but his anger radiated in waves prompting her to take a more protective stance regarding her friend, "Spike, go ahead."

As the vampire told of Buffy's brutal beating, Tara felt tears well in her eyes and tried blinking them away. His words were laced in regret and truth, "I thought I could help her, Watcher, I was so very wrong... I don't think she wants help." Giles would simply think Spike was beaten because Buffy didn't want to be stopped from confessing to murder. At least that was evidence Buffy was willing to throw her life away.

Giles continued to stare angrily at Spike, "You still haven't explained why you're with him,Tara, what is your role in this?"

"I found Spike in the alley last night. He came home with me, and he's going to stay with me until things are settled. Meaning, there will be no stakings while anyone sleeps," Tara did her best to sound calm and determined.
 

"How wonderful!," Giles voice dripped in sarcasm, "You can be certain we will speak more of this later. I need to know the exact components of Willow's spell, and I'll call you as soon as I have information, Tara. I also need to know what spells you did to check Buffy's status," Giles resorted to a businesslike tone. "Spike, if you've anything further to share, do let me know. Good night."

Anya, on the other hand, let the incidents between the vampire and Slayer wash over her. She also suspected there was a lot more to their story, "I'll see if D'Hoffryn knows anyone who could help. He's got an excellent reputation and contacts." Spike tried to hide a smirk when Tara offered her thanks as Giles shuddered. It was definite the research expert wanted little to do with Anya's ex-boss.

Walking outside to Tara's car, Spike watched the young woman, once more amazed by her strength and determination. 'Wonder what she'd like.... Bet I could find her a nice gift to thank her for her troubles,' he reflected, 'she'd take it too. This girl would accept a gift with a smile.' Spike shook his head. No, he was not getting soft, but the more time he spent with Tara, the more he liked her and understood Willow's passion. Breaking the quiet, he finally spoke, "Kitten, you hungry? I could take you to dinner if you like."

"Um..thank you, Spike," the surprised woman answered, "that sounds really nice."
 

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"Hello, you've reached Xander and Anya. We're out making money, having orgasms or listening to Xander's friends whine, please leave a message after the annoying beep," damn machine.

"Anya, honey, it's me? If you're there, please pick up the phone, and I thought we talked about the answering machine this morning," Xander said to the empty apartment, "okay, you're still at the shop I'm guessing. Willow called and said she needs my help tonight. Don't wait to eat, and if you want to come over too, gimme a call. And don't forget to change the away message, Ahn."

Why did she always do this shit? At least Cordelia never discussed their sex life or called his friends whiners, scratch that, at least Cordy never talked about their sex life. Not that there'd been much of a sex life with Cordelia Ice Princess Chase. Still, you'd think Anya would remember something about being a human being, and it's not like she hadn't lived around Xander and his friends for the past three years. He sometimes wished she'd just behave like any normal girl. He was tired of catering to his fiance's whims every single time she got a new and even more scatterbrained idea about the wedding. Sure, he loved her, but that didn't mean a big production was necessary to prove it. And what about what he wanted? All Ahn did these days was moon over bridal gowns and complain about seating arrangements at the reception. Oh, inviting her family? His parents were never going to buy the circus people excuse!

Traffic was bad, but the plans for the new Sunnydale High School had to be finished and approved which meant staying late and getting caught in rush hour. Boy howdy, would Willow be pissed. Xander shook his head at the unfairness of it all. G-man was okay to talk to as stuffy, old, and cranky British guys went, but Xander sometimes felt like he should be sporting breast implants and a pink party dress. Alice in Wonderland style. Wait, did Alice even have breasts? Suddenly, the low gas light on the dash went off, and Xander groaned contemplating the expense of another full tank of gas. Stupid OPEC. 'Hey, I know what OPEC is, cool,' he told himself as he pulled into the nearest gas station. He quickly filled the tank and walked into the store to pay, but there was no one around, weird. "Hello?" he shouted.

"Wanna play?" a voice whispered just as the blow smashed into Xander Harris' head. Days on the Hellmouth just keep getting better.

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"Xander? I'm home, and I brought chocolate," called Anya hoping she was in time to change the away message on their answering machine. She forgot all about it before leaving for work that morning. Giles was in such a bad mood by the time Tara and Spike left, she felt obligated to stick around and pretend to be interested in his research. To make up for the late hour, she picked up a bottle of domestic wine and some dark chocolates by that over-priced European company with the frou-frou name. Xander adored their candy, and Anya wasn't in the mood to listen to him gripe. Chocolate was always good for soothing the savage Xander Harris. 'There's a delicious idea, Xander in a Tarzan loincloth-savage is good,' she told herself.

"Xander?" Silence answered. Where could he be this late? The Slayer, of course, she probably needed back-up, and Xander ran off to help because heaven knows killing things is more important than wedding plans. Fine, he could run all over town and she'd just take a hot bath or finish her magazine. Anya wanted green dresses to show off Buffy's eyes and Willow's hair. Dawn would look adorable in burlap. All that was left was to find the right shade of green and best style for the girls. Truthfully, Anya discovered she liked giving people gifts, and that meant a dress for Dawn too. Wedding plans were stressful, but even Tara was willing to help much to Anya's surprise. She'd grown fond of Willow's ex. Tara understood what it was like to watch the Scoobies from the outside. Oh, the gang might tell them they were Scoobies too, but Anya knew Tara never felt like a part of that group anymore than she did. The only one to listen to her or ask her opinion, other than Xander, was Giles. Willow usually rolled her eyes while Buffy stayed polite and detached.

Anya refused to let it bother her, If Xander and his friends needed to play high school forever, that was fine as long as his friends understood he couldn't play hero every single night. She'd find her own human and demon friends. Spike supposedly had a regular group of poker buddies, good, she'd try him next week. Xander might not like it, but Anya had to admit she missed hanging out with demons. They were at least honest about what they wanted, money, food, or sex, and you always knew when one wanted to kill you. As she mused over the idea of cultivating a friendship with Spike, the former demon did a bit of cleaning and organizing. Xander wasn't exactly neat, and she liked keeping things in order. Lately he'd taken to leaving papers scattered on the coffee table.

She glanced through his papers looking for a notebook and pen. Once located, Anya sat with her writing implements and new issue of Bride to decide on dresses. The article "Retro Silks Give New Life" made her pause. This was it! All she'd wanted and more, and they weren't too pricey at all. Now to find a dress for Dawn. Anya smiled to herself and pictured Buffy and Willow in their grass green gowns. She believed they would both look completely beautiful. Paying for the dresses herself would also serve to please Xander, and show him she was not only interested in making money. She liked to spend it too, especially when spending it on her own wedding.

It was tempting to give Buffy and Willow a call to verify dress sizes. Messages! Thinking of the Slayer and her roommate reminded Anya that she hadn't bothered to check messages, and if Xander or, worse, Xander's boss called, Xander would end up pissed she didn't check. She pushed play on the machine, "You have one new message and four saved messages," the electronic voice bleated at her, "First new message: Anya, honey, it's me? If you're there, please pick up the phone, and I thought we talked about the answering machine this morning. Okay, you're still at the shop I'm guessing. Willow called and said she needs my help tonight. Don't wait to eat, and if you want to come over too, gimme a call. And don't forget to change the away message, Ahn." Typical. She was right, he was playing Scooby games and getting annoyed over a stupid answering machine.

Anya sighed into the dark living room, "Just once, I'd love it if he didn't worry about their feelings more than mine. It was just a joke, damn, I should've taken care of it this morning." Frustrated and lonely, she erased her away message and spoke into the machine again, "You've reached Anya and Xander. Please leave a message after the beep," done. He should be happy now. She sulked a bit and walked back to the couch. Not only did Anya not want to play Slayer-fest tonight, she was sick of finding Xander's pocket droppings everywhere. Cleaning always calmed her down because it took her mind off personal problems. The coffee table, still cluttered, was the last spot to clean. That man was just about to push her over the edge with his stupid paperwork, notes, and building plans. When she spied the small piece of stationary, Anya decided she better read it before tossing it in case it was business.
 

Wedding Vows
 

How sweet! Finding Xander's rough draft of the vows was an unexpected pleasure. He was planning! Much was written over and scratched out, but Anya couldn't help curiosity and read it anyway. The first line, she felt, was beautiful and so true, "Anya, you're more than I could have hoped for or deserved," it was perfect. Even if it was covered in rewrites and ink blots, "The fact is, you deserve more than I can give you," again true, "and I'll always love you. Writing these vows isn't easy...not when I want to say I'm not ready for any of it." Puzzled, Anya looked over the paper to read Xander's second try, "It's so hard to tell someone what they mean to you when you're not even sure yourself." The back was covered in the same ink blobs, rewrites, declarations of love and confusion. The final attempt wasn't long, pierced Anya's heart, and she had to be wrong, "Ahn, are we making a mistake? I don't want to hurt you." His vows were filled with uncertainty. They sure didn't say, 'Hey, let's share our lives together,' she said to herself, 'What if Xander doesn't want to get married... When was he going to tell me?' Anya felt woozy and slid to the floor. She'd have to call him at his precious Buffy's house or worry herself sick until he returned. Neither prospect worked in her mind. Grabbing her keys, shoes, and the half-written vows, Anya ran out the door instead.