Subject: [OTL]: [#KJCorner] ConJobbing [PG-13, mild language] Date: Tue, 28 Nov 2000 00:44:20 -0800 From: Trisha Lynn ConJobbing aka When a Brit Meets an Aussie, Coming Through the #Corner by Trisha Lynn, Ana, Falstaff and Dyce Disclaimer: We were bored, okay? And it was 12:39am for me, okay? So I changed nicks in another window, and well... this was the result. Pete, ConJob and Header are Vertigo's property and we're returning them unharmed, and unaltered.... 'cept for ConJob. ^_^ *** TrishaLynn is now known as ConJob * Elihara eeps and splashes Trisha with soapy water. * Lyssie giggles * ConJob wipes the water from her eyes and fishes for a fag in her pocket. Er, his...'s what I meant t'say. * Elihara digs out her spray-deodorant and sprays Con-Trisha. * ConJob eyes Dyce. "Lissen here, gel... I ain't in the mood, so piss off." (He said, with his Constantine flare) * Elihara looks firm. "The only thing I know for sure about Constantine is that he's dirty and stinky. Stick out your tongue. Not on yer life, gel. Unlike you, I can keep a civil tongue in me head. * Elihara shrugs, dabs the hanky on her own tongue, and scrubs a grubby mark off Constantine's face. Oi, oi! * ConJob backs away and looks at Falstaff. "Come and get yer gel away from me." * Elihara digs around in her pockets. "I have a breath-mint in here somewhere....." * `Falstaff snickers and does his best Angus Header impression. "Ah, away wi' ye, Johnny. 'Tis fockin' funny." *** Lyssie is now known as Pete_Wisdom_ * Pete_Wisdom_ raises an eyebrow at Con and snickers Oi! Pete... haven't seen ye in a while... yer dead, right? Makes sense. * ConJob sniggers. "I see dead people, indeed." Always thought the ghost business was bloody boring. Was right, too. Aw, bite yer bollocks off, mate. * Elihara politely offers Pete the ghost of a bottle of whiskey. Thanks, sweets. * ConJob puckers up, "You first, sweet-cheeks. So ye been peepin in the gels' showers, like you said y'always would?" * Elihara advances on Conjob, brandishing a hairbrush. Oi! * ConJob makes signs of warding. * Pete_Wisdom_ nearly snickers whiskey out his nose * Elihara ignores the signs of warding and starts tidying Conjob's hair. Aw c'mon now... hey, watchit, ye don't need t'pull... * ConJob grumbles and grouses. Connie, better let 'er do yer hair. It'll make such a difference for the next date y'go on. I don't need t'go on dates. They jus' fall fer me. * ConJob waggles his eyebrows. "'member the lesbian?" Fall dead at yer feet, do they> ? <`Falstaff> Yeah, mebbe you'll find a girl what'll stay alive for a minute or two this time... *** `Falstaff is now known as Angus_Header That the one wot nearly fed you yer balls? C'mon! Was me best moment! 'twas that Garth Ennis bloke what wrote that line... Hey, you never did pay me the money you owed me fer the bar tab that night. Get used to it, mate. 'E never pays. * ConJob ahems. "Blimey... I'm shagging a lesbian. Do I get a prize?" * Elihara takes advantage of Conjob's open mouth to squirt some breath-freshener into it. * ConJob coughs and GLARES at the Australian girl. * Angus_Header laughs merrily. * Pete_Wisdom_ snickers. Get 'im good, gel. * Elihara smiles sweetly, and offers Pete the ghost of a packet of cigarettes. Now look here, missy. If'n ye wanted to see me cleaned up, why didn't y' ask? * ConJob waggles his eyebrows at Dyce. "Gonna scrub me up yerself?" * Pete_Wisdom_ accepts the cigs happily. * Elihara gives Conjob a blank look. "Because you obviously don't know how to do it yourself." * Angus_Header shakes a baseball bat at Con meaningfully. Header? Yer dead, right? Connie, I'd watch out for the bloke with the bat, if I were you. * Elihara coos and kisses her beloved. "Don't worry, darling, I love you more than the dirty man." Not that the girl can't keep herself safe. Look how she's handled you so far. Not a scratch on 'er, and y're half-clean... Just ye remember what happened to Terry Butcher, ye wee nyaff.... Forlorn an' unloved, I am. Well, if that's the way it's gonna be, I'm gonna go piss on Custer's book's grave. * ConJob gives everyone the raspberry and is off to raise hell elsewhere. *** ConJob is now known as TrishaLynn Never said it was gonna be long... -30- Trisha Lynn tls@thekeep.org http://www.thekeep.org/~tls/spotlight.htm "Brevity is the soul of lingerie." --Dorothy Parker