Subject: [OTL]: One-Liners Are Fun part 9. The last one!
Date: Wed, 09 Feb 2000 16:57:31 -0800
From: Trumpetlee@aol.com

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. They're Marvel's and maybe even
some DC splashed in somewhere. But not mine. No money. Don't sue!
Thanks to EVERYONE who sent me one-liners. You all are awesome, and this
deffinitly would not have gotten finished if it weren't for you.

One-Liners are Fun part 9.
:Lee Tybird

(Hank sits at his own computer, checking his email, and finds one-liners.)
Hank: Stars and garters... Hey people!!!!
(A few minutes later...)

>> Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Hank: (Turning to Bobby) I thought so!!

>> The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

(All give a stare Alex's way)
Alex: What?! Just because I was brainwashed, doesn't mean I didn't remember
my name!!
Scott: Okay, what's your name?
Alex: ...

>> If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Monet: I'm not sure. Perhaps Angelo can tell us?
Angelo: Oink, oink, Chica.

>>  Eagles may fly, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Rogue: Maybe ah shouldn't try an fly anymore. Ah never thought o' it that
way.

>> It would never work. I'm Aquarius, you're ridiculous.

Pete: Listen, kid. All I'm sayin is that, well, I'm almost old enough ta be
yer father, an that's... pretty damn gross, if ya ask me.
Jubilee: We could make it work. You made it work with Pryde.
Pete: Shoot me. Now.
Domino: If you insist.

>> Why did the Howells pack so much for a three-hour tour?

Jean: Telepathy. Definitely telepathy.
Jonothan: *Still don't make any sense. Why would they be there in th' first
place if they knew wot was gonna happen?*
Emma: And we're debating this, why?

>> If it has feelings, it's not cooked enough!

Nate: Logan doesn't believe in that. He believes in biting the poor little
bunny heads off while they're lookin up at him for mercy.
Logan: Yer askin for it, Bub. Ya really are.
Nate: I know. ;)

>> Ham! This little piggy went to market

(Hank lifts up Bobby)
Bobby: Where are you taking me?!
Hank: To market! Where else?

>> Respect my authority!

(Bobby gives Scott a piece of paper with a picture of policeman Cartman on
it, and "You Will Respect My Authority!" on the top)
Alex: Isn't it just so odd how they look so much alike? The glasses, the
sneer...
Scott: I don't sneer!
(Alex hands Scott a mirror)
Scott: AH!

>> My brother ate my homework

Scott: You know, Alex, if I recall correctly, you did that to me once.
Alex: Did not.
Scott: Did too.
Alex: Did not.
Scott: Did too.
Alex: Did... not!
Scott: Did!
Alex: Not!
Jean: Go to your rooms! Both of you, and stop acting like animals!
Nate: Yeah, that's Logan's job!

>> Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

Nate: Honk.
Domino: Ha, ha. Very funny, Nate.

>> It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

Pete: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Jubilee: Hey, Pryde, I think we finally drove him nuts!
Kitty: Think we should tell him?
Jubilee: Yeah, we should let him off the hook now.
Kitty: Pete, luv, stop screaming. Please? Pete? Pete. PETE!!!
(Pete finally stops screaming)
Jubilee: Wisdom, the whole thing was a joke. We were joking.
(Pete blinks)
Kitty: Are you okay?
(Pete blinks again)
Kitty: Aw, my poor sod.
(Kitty and Pete start to make out, and Jubilee makes disgusted sounds)

>>When I was born, I was so surprised, I couldn't talk for a year and 
a half!

(Jonothan mutters)

>> This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

Bobby: Yeah! That's what I said about Inferno!
Hank: And the Phoenix saga, and Fatal Attractions, and-
Scott: We get it!

(They sit around for a while, until Hank sighs.)

Hank: That's it.
Scott: ...That's it?
Bobby: (nodding) The mailing list we got them off of has been shut down. No
more.
Doug: We're free! FREE!!

(And life in the X-Mansion goes on in an... uh... normal fashion, I suppose)

THE END!