Subject: [OTL]: [X-people and kids] The Bench Game
Date: Tue, 12 Oct 1999 21:22:20 EDT
From: Trumpetlee@aol.com

Note: This isn't my fault. Blame my friends. We played this. It was fun. And
so this is dedicated to Caily, Andrea, Jill, Nancy, Katie, Rosemary, Ashley,
and Tab. It's all their fault. Thanks to Em-Spyder for the fake spam!
Disclaimer: All except most of the kids are Marvel's. No money. Don't sue.
Please. With marshmallows on top??

The Bench Game
Lee Tybird

    "So," said Rachel. "What's going on, guys?" She sat down on the couch
with the other kids in the den.
    "New class," Bobby replied. He and Hank stood in front of the class.
    "Theatre," Hank added. "We're going to start out with something simple.
It is called the Bench Game."
    Bobby got up from his spot on the table. "The object of the game is to
get the person sitting on the bench off without using powers, or physical force. 
We have different props for you to use, sitting on the table."
    "That doesn't sound too hard," said Jesse.
    "And," said Hank. "Some of the adults have valunteered to assist us."
    Jean, Scott, Warren, and Betsy walked in.
    "Unfortunately, some of them are late."
    "I wanna be on the bench!!!"
    "Tough shit, Rachel," said Joey. "I'm on the bench."
    "But everything scares you!"
    "...SO?"
    Angela sighed. "Oh, boy."
    Joey hopped up and sat on the bench. "So, let's start!"
    "I'll scare him!" cried Dave. He got up and sat on the bench next to Joey. 
"I always wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK!! Leaping from tree to tree... Oh I'm
a Lumberjack and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I work all day."
    Joey stared in confusion as Dave began Monty Python's Lumberjack song, 
and made a little "eep" sound. He hopped up from the bench and sat down on the 
floor.
    Rachel shook her head. "I don't wanna say I told ya so."
    Serena got up and sat down on the bench. "Someone scare me," she said.
"Nothing can scare me."
    "That's because you are scary," Jacen muttered.
    Lydia got up and put her hands together as if she were praying. She sat
down next to Serena. "Hello, Dear, Jeezus is your friend!"
    Serena turned ghostly white and used her magic to teleport off the bench.
She wound up on the side of the couch. "Nothing except that." 
    Rachel hopped on the bench. "Me next!"
    Jacen smirked and got to his feet. He swaggered over and sat down.
"Hello. I'm a missing Summers. How are you?"
    Rachel screamed and shot off the bench. She hid behind Dave. "I'll get
you for that."
    "By George, I think they've got it!" Hank cried, smiling.
    Justin sat himself quietly on the bench. "Try and scare me."
    Jesse shook his head. He took six straws, and tapped three to each hand.
He licked his fingers, and tried to style his hair in two points. He then took
a candy bar and stuck it in his mouth. Jesse stalked over to the bench. He took
the candy bar out of his mouth and pretended to blow a smoke ring. "Ya got
the hots fer my darlin Connie, dontcha?"
    The whole room broke out in laughter.
    Sharona took a camera from next to her, and shot a picture of Jesse.
    "Yer not short enough to be Logan!!" cried Maggie.
    Jesse got down on his knees. "Yer gonna die, kid."
    Justin ran.
    At that moment, Kitty, Bobby, Pete, Illyana, and Logan walked into the 
room. Three of them burst out laughing when they caught sight of Jesse. Logan 
just stood there, looking baffled. In moments, both Pete and Bobby were on the
floor, clutching their stomachs as they laughed.
    When things had calmed down, Logan just shook his head and left the room,
mumbling something about "insane kids."
    The other three adults, however, sat themselves on the couch.
    Pete got to his feet and walked over to the bench. He sat down and said,
"Scare me."
    Connie smirked. "Too easy." She took a clipboard from nearby and a pencil.
"Now, let's see," she began, sitting on the bench. "Wot color spandex would
ya like? We have a lovely shade o' purple. Of course, I think you'd look good
in neon orange. Or, we always have latex."  She crossed her legs, and gave
her father a curious look.
    Pete slowly inched off the bench, and then ran for the couch.
    Connie smiled triumphantly.
    "If this wasn't a game," Pete said. "You'd be grounded, young lady."
    "I feel courageous," Bobby declared. "Try me." He got up and sat on the
bench.
    "How easy can you get?" asked Jacen. He picked up the tinfoil from the
table, and began to wrap himself in it. Angela got his idea, and began to
help him.
     When they were done, he went up to Bobby. "Stay away from my Snowflake!!!"
he yelled, in his best Russian accent.
    Bobby fell off the bench.
    Jacen smiled, took the tinfoil off, and sat back down.
    Bobby got to his feet and walked over to Jacen. "Expect a few extra workouts
from Logan. Say, fifty."
    Jacen snapped. "Damn."
    Hank got on the bench. "All right. Who would like to try and frighten me?"
    Bobby got to his feet, and sat next to Hank. "Hank, I'm sorry. There are
no more Twinkies."
    Hank gave his best friend a shocked look, got off the bench, and rushed
to the kitchen. "You fib!! They're still here!!"
    The group laughed.
    Scott sat on the bench. "Okay," he said. "Me next."
    Jean smiled sweetly. She got up, and very gracefully sat on the bench.
They both sat in silence for a moment.
    "Hi, Jean," said Scott with a smile.
    "Jean?" she asked. "I'm not Jean."
    Scott went pale, and shot off the bench.
    The rest of the group laughed.
    "That was not funny!" Scott cried.
    "Sure it was!" Warren said.
    "Okay Mr. Bigshot," said Betsy. "Get on that bench."
    Warren got up. "Fine." He sat on the bench.
    Angela smiled and sat down next to her father. She sighed. "I'm sorry to
tell you this, Mr. Worthington, but your taxes are over-due, your company has
been bought out, and you're broke."
    "AH!" Warren literally flew off the bench. "Don't ever do that again!!"
    At that moment, Nate and Domino walked in. "Sorry we're late," said Nate.
"Danger room practice." He sat on the bench. "So, who wants to give it a shot?"
    Joey got up and sat down. He began to sing "Hit Me Baby One More Time,"
by Britney Spears.
    Nate, got up, knocked the bench over, and sat on the couch. "Don't ever
sing that again!"
    Domino helped Joey to his feet, and fixed the over-turned bench. She sat
down on it. This lasted for an hour. Each person in the room tried everything
from bugs to annoying songs, but Domino still sat there. She was very comfortable.
    At that point, Logan walked into the room, sat on the bench next to Domino. 
He pulled out a can of Treat, and said, "Here ya go, Neena." He handed it to her, 
and she sprang up, dropping the can, and dashing in Nate's general direction.
    "Damn you, Logan!"
    Nate smirked. "Why didn't I think of that?"
    "Because I'm the only one who's ever heard her get grossed out by it."
    After a few more turns on the bench, Hank got up in front of the group.
"I hope you all enjoyed yourselves, and I know you can't wait until next week's
class, when we play Theatrical Freeze Tag!"