Subject: [OTL]: Re: Food Challenge: The Dinner From Hell... Date: Wed, 24 Mar 1999 19:29:07 EST From: Trumpetlee@aol.com Reply-To: outsidethelines@Mailing-List.net To: Outsidethelines@mailing-list.net I've had this story in the works for quite a while, and the food challenge inspired me to finish it. I've never read a lot of X-Force, so I hope I got the characterization right. It's a little different than the challenge, but you get the idea. Disclaimer: All characters are Marvel's. Not mine. No money. Don't sue. Please? The Dinner From Hell Lee Tybird "I've called the five of here today to make a compromise of sorts," said Professor Xavier. "The women are sick of cooking enormous meals every time the house is full, so here is their request: X-Force will be dish washing. Generation-X will be serving the food. The X-Men will be cooking the entrees. Excalibur will be making dessert." Kurt Wagner, Emma Frost, Sean Cassidey, Nathan Summers and Scott Summers stood and sat around the Professor's office. "I don't see how that should be a problem," said Nate. "My team can handle it." Emma nodded. "It'll teach the children cooperation skills." "We cook all the time," said Scott. "It's fine." "As you know," said Kurt, "there are a few couples on Excalibur. With the exception of Kitty and Pete, I think we can handle it." "It's settled then." * * * Dinner can get really dangerous "OH MY GOD!!! THE SPAGHETTI IS GONNA OVERFLOW!!! HOW IN HELL DO I STOP THIS!!!" "Goddamn green beans!!!" "Dis ain't goin' right! I can't flip de burgers!" "Bobby, the spaghetti is going to be fine," said Jean, "just turn down the heat." "I'm Iceman, I don't know these things." "Logan, don't stick yoh claws in the green beans! They're all bloody!!!" Rogue cried. "People have ta eat them!" "Here Remy," said Sam, "lemme try." "Who likes their hot dogs extra crispy?" asked Scott. "Scott, how on Earth did you manage that?" asked Warren. "I don't know." "He was staring at Jean's butt," Bobby said from the stove. "Bobby, if you don't shut up, I'm going to dip your head into the spaghetti." "Woo. Scott gets personality," said Betsy. Scott picked up a crispy hot dog and threw at Bobby's head. Bobby turned around and picked up the brown projectile. "Hiiiiiiidy Ho," he said, "I'm Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo!" "Listen "Kenny," said Scott, "I'm gonna be a bastard and kill you if you don't cut it out." "Uhh, Scott, it was Kyle who believed in Mr. Hanky. Not Kenny." "Jean, how would you know?!" "Ummm... telepathy?" "Sure." "Uh oh!" cried Sam. "Ah dropped some paper in the soup!" Warren cleared his throat. "If you won't tell, I won't tell." Hank came inside from the grill holding a grill pan and had his nose covered. "This pot roast smells abominable!" he cried. "Well, Betsy prepared it," said Remy. "I most certainly did not," Betsy cried. "Ororo did!" "It is not pot roast," Ororo protested. "It is Spam roast." "Oh my god!" Bobby sobbed. "You're gonna make us eat that?!" Ororo nodded. "Yes." * * * Never be a waiter "Oh this is gross!!" "Why are there red spots in the green beans?" *These hot dogs look like shriveled up pieces o'-* "Jono, don't ya dare." *Sorry Sunshine.* Gen-X went out with the odd-looking food and set it down on the table. They served the food, and dealt with a lot of complaining about it. Pete Wisdom stirred his soup and was about to put some in his mouth. He then looked at it and noticed a piece of paper. He looked up at Jono. "Wot's this?" he asked. Jono shrugged. *A season ticket.* Pete shrugged and began to pick the paper out of the bowl. "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!!!! I SPILLED GREEN BEANS ON MY SHOES AND THERE'S RED JUNK IN IT!!!!!!" Everett looked down at Jubilee's shoes. "Jubes, I think that's blood." "EEEEEWWWW!!!!!!!" "Angelo dear," said Meggan sweetly, "you can let go of the plate now." "I'm trying Seniorita." Sam looked down at his plate. "Umm, Paige, sis, yer drippin' skin in mah spaghetti." "Sorry," Paige said, her face reddening. "What is this pot roast made of?" Monet asked. "Spam," Ororo replied proudly. "Y'know, I think I'm gonna skip that main course," said Doug, backing away from the table. Everyone voiced their agreements. * * * "Well," said the Professor. "Dinner was interesting. Desert anyone?" * * * I scream, you scream. We all scream... "Let's see, we've got chocolate, ice cream, whipped cream..." "Yes Kurt, we know Amanda's got you whipped." Kurt rolled his eyes at Doug. "We have chocolate chips, hot fudge, Jell-O mixes, pie crusts, lemon mix, and meringue. Pete and Kitty work on the chocolate Jell-O. Amanda and I will make the hot fudge. 'Yana Rahne and Doug, you three start preparing the ice cream to be served. Meggan and Brian make two lemon meringue pies." The different teams got to work. "Pete love, you've got Jell-O on your lips." Kitty reached up and kissed him. When she let go, Pete laughed at her. "Kitty luv, you've got Jell-O on yer lips." As you can imagine, that was the end of the Jell-O for the moment. "NO DOUG!! DON'T PUT ICE CREAM DOWN MY PANTS!!!!" "Aww, 'Yana, it's fun." "I'm gonna send you to Limbo, Mr. And yer not gonna like it." "Ye two cut that oot, an' help me scoop the ice cream." Kurt looked around and spotted Kitty and Pete. "PRYDE!!! WISDOM!!!! GET TO WORK!!!" Snickering, the two made more jello. "Oh my god! Kurt, I'm so sorry!" cried Amanda. Everyone looked over to see a spoonful of hot fudge stuck to Kurt. Five minutes later... "Dessert is served," said Doug. "Oh, dear god," said Bobby. "Why is there blue fur in my hot fudge?" "It's decoration," said Amanda. "Eat." * * * The Art of Washing Dishes isn't as Easy as it Looks "There goes another one," said James. "Will you stop dropping the damn plates?!" asked Nate. "Look at me," said Roberto, "I can juggle!" CRASH "Oopsy." "Beeeerto," Tab wined. "Like, why'd ya do that?" "Hey! It was an accident, okay?!" "Chill you two," said Sam. "Let's trah ta do this calmly." "Ahilk," Terry muttered. "Stop that!" Sam cried. "There goes another one." "Damnit, James!" cried Domino. "Calm down, Dom," said Sam. "Ah'm sure the Prof c'n get mohe plates." "Ahilk," Terry muttered again. "Ah said stop that!" "Like, calm down Sam," said Tab. "Terry was only kidding." "I do not enjoy this, Cable," said ShatterStar. "I am a worrier, not a kitchen maid." "Listen," said Nate. "I told Xavier we'd cooperate, and we will." Scott looked into the kitchen. Broken plates on the floor, as well as the broken cups Roberto had been juggling, Sam ready to explode at Terry, who was laughing, James and Domino bickering over who should clean up the broken dinner-wear, Nate and Shatter Star bickering, and Roberto and Tab trying to keep Sam away from Terry. Scott shook his head. "I swear," he said. "As long as I live, I will never compromise with the Professor again. Especially when it concerns food."