Subject: [OTL]: [X-People] Star Wars + Boredom = ??
Date: Sat, 31 Jul 1999 11:56:25 EDT
From: Trumpetlee@aol.com

Okay, This came out of me when I was punchy. Be afraid.
Disclaimer: Mine are mine. Marvel's are Marvel's. and Star Wars is George
Lucas'. No Money.

Star Wars + Boredom = ??
Lee Tybird

    "Let's see, Connie won survival of the fittest against Rena, so she gets
to be the Emperor."
    Serena mumbled something.
    "Empress!" Connie cried. "I ain't no bloody guy, thass fer sure."
    "I wanna be Obi-Wan!" Joey cried.
    Maggie sighed. "There is no Obi-Wan in this scene!"
    "He's mentioned!"
    Charlie smiled. "Okay. We'll just call you Obi-Joe!"
    "Okay," said Dave. "Jesse called Luke, and Rachel called Vader."
    Rachel walked up with a large Darth Vader helmet on. "Hey guys."
    "Damn!" cried Jacen. "That's tight!! Where'd you get that??"
    "I swiped it from Bobby's room," Rachel replied. "Unfortunately, it gets
a little hot under here."
    Bobby shook his head. "What are you guys doing?" he asked. "And why is
Rachel wearing my Vader helmet!!!???"
    "Can I borrow it, Uncle Bobby?" Rachel asked sweetly. "I love helmets."
    "Don't I know it," Erik muttered.
    "You're just sore because we won the fight," said Lydia.
    "I still cannot believe I was beaten by a bunch of insane, pubescent
children."
    "Now, Erik," said Xavier. "Let's not be bitter. After all, you are
getting old."
    Erik glared at Charles. "I am younger than you."
    "That ain't sayin much Maggy," Logan snickered.
    "Oh, yeah," Pete called. "Yer one ta talk, mate."
    Bobby sighed. "Okay. You can borrow it. But I want it back!!"
    Rachel smiled, even though no one could see it. "Thanks!!"
    "This should be fun," said Domino. "I've always loved Star Wars."
    Nate sighed. "Yeah. And it is a form of training."
    Dave smirked at their audience. "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!"

    Connie tapped her fingers together. "Good. Use your aggressive feelings,
boy! Let the hate flow through you."
    Jesse, who was playing Luke, looked at "Empress Connie" and then back at
"Darth Phoenix," dark lord of the clones. He had just stricken down Phoenix.
He turned off his yellow light saber and took a deep breath.
    "Obi-Joe has taught you well," Rachel, or "Darth Phoenix", said through
the mask.
    "I will not fight you, Fa-" Jesse stopped and looked at Rachel. "Uhh, I
mean Mother."
    Bobby snickered. "This is great."
    "I must get David to show me how to make those light sabers," Hank
muttered.
    "It is interesting," said Ororo. "And I think Connie does a good job of
portraying the Dark side, as does Rachel."
    Scott nodded. "Darth Phoenix. It figures."
    "C'mon, guys," said Doug. "Shut up, I wanna hear this."
    Rachel grinned under the mask. "You are unwise to lower your defenses!!"
She lunged at Jesse with her red light saber.
    Jesse leaped away and up the stairs. "Your thoughts betray you, mother,"
he said. "I feel the good in you. The conflict."
    "There is no conflict," Rachel growled.
    "You couldn't bring yourself to kill me before," Jesse said. "I don't
believe you'll destroy me now."
    "You underestimate the power of the dark side," Rachel replied. "If you
will not fight, then you will meet your destiny." Rachel threw her light
saber at Jesse and it hit the supports of what Jesse was standing on. It
broke and Jesse went rolling underneath Connie's platform.
    Connie laughed evilly. "Good, good."
    Pete smirked. "Thass me girl."
    "Hey, Meggan," said Dave. "Does your hair go in Princess Leia buns?"
    Meggan blinked. "I don't think so, David. Why?"
    David gave her a smile. "Just wondering."
    Rachel walked through the darkness. "You cannot hide forever, Luke."
    "I will not fight you."
    "Give yourself to the dark side," she said. "It is the only way you can
save your friends. Yes, your feelings are strong for them. Especially for..."
Rachel stopped. "Sister."
    Nate, Alex and Scott all sighed. "Sounds like my family," they said in
unison. They looked at each other, and each gave a grin. Lorna, Domino, and
Jean beamed at each other.
    "So..." Rachel went on. "You have a twin sister. Your feelings have now
betrayed her, too. Obi-Joe was wise to hide her from me. Now, his failure is
complete. If you will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps she will."
    Jesse popped up. "NEVER!!"
    Serena laughed. "My god this is funny."
    "Chill, Rena," said Yana with a smirk.
    Jesse turned his light saber on and ran up to Rachel. He began to swing
at her, and she blocked for a while. Rachel let her guard down and Jesse
lopped off her hand. She shrieked, and Jean cringed.
    Yana began to laugh along with Rena. "You're right, this is funny!"
    Connie got up. "Good! Your hate has made you powerful. Now, fulfill your
destiny and take your fa- I mean mother's place at my side."
    Jesse looked down at Rachel, then back at Connie. He turned off his
light saber. "Never. I'll never turn to the dark side."
    "Yes he will," Justin muttered. "You just bloody watch him."
    "You've failed, your highness. I am a Jedi, like my father -I mean
mother- before me," Jesse said defiantly.
    Forge scratched the back of his head. "Ororo was never a Jedi..."
    "So be it... Jedi." Connie began to blast hotknives at Jesse, making sure
each one missed him. "If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed!"
    Jesse pretended to writhe in agony.
    "Young fool!" Connie shouted. "Only now do you understand!"
    Rachel got up and stood next to Connie. She slid her real hand through
her sleeve, and picked up the fake one that had been lopped off.
    Jean sighed in relief.
    "Your skills are no match for the power of the dark side," Connie went
on. "You will pay the price for your lack of vision."
    Jesse reached out to Rachel. "Mother, help me!"
    Rachel just stood there. Serena and Yana kept laughing off to the side.
    "Now, young Skywalker... you will die," Connie declared.
    Rachel lifted Connie off her feet, and threw her down a shaft. Angela
turned off the sequence, and Connie fell on her bottom half with an "OW!"
    The surrounding audience began to clap and cheer.
    Serena and Illyana still laughed.
    "Check this out," Yana said to her. "There is... another... Summers..." 
she wheezed.
    The two of them broke out in more fits of laughter.
    "That is not funny," Alex said, trying not to laugh. "Don't you ever joke
about that again!"
    "Laugh, Dear," Lorna said to Alex. "It's good for you."
    "That was great!" Bobby clapped. "Can I have my Vader helmet back now?"
    "Houston, we ave a problem!" Connie yelled.
    Rachel whimpered under the helmet. "I'm stuck!!"