Subject: It's a Mutant Invasion, Charlie Brown by Twist Date: 24 Aug 1996 16:11:23 GMT From: "rlchurch@erols.com" Organization: Erol's Internet Service Newsgroups: alt.comics.fan-fiction -------------------------------------------------------------------- The X-men belong to Marvel, the peanuts charactors belong to Charles M Schultz. This is just a random story copyrighted by me, adn it has no place in the X-books, but if your a continuity freak, then Jubilee is at the mansion for a visit. Hey, it might even be a what if. What if the X-men, or a selct grouping of them, were to meet Charlie Brown and his friends? Read and find out. As usual, direct all comments to rlchurch@erols.com, and remember to put Twist in the subject. It helps keep my dad's mail separate from mine. Enjoy! :) It's a Mutant Invasion, Charlie Brown by Twist Peppermint Patty woke up with a start, and stared at the typed print in front of her. "Hunh?" "We're going on a field trip, sir, to New York. You fell asleep again." "Stop calling me sir, Marcy. When is it?" "Next Tuesday." Franklin said from in front of her. "We have to do a report on how people in New York differ from they are here." "I wonder if Chuck's school is going? Maybe Snoopy will be there." ++++++++ "A report ma'am?" "Wanh, wanh, wanh, WANH." "Okay, ma'am, I'll try to pay more attention next time." Charlie Brown looked down at his desk, his face turning bright pink. "Oh good grief." +++++++++ "FIELD TRIP!" Jubilee shouted, and after a quick hug to Gambit (much to his surprise), began rummaging through her back pack. "Where to first? Let's go to Bloomingdales, I could use a new outfit, yah know, just incase one of the bad guys actually has a fashion sense, and maybe I'll find that cute Robin guy again, but we absolutley have to go to..." "Woah, slow down Jubilee." Jubilee practically bit the hand on her shoulder off. "What is it, Cyclops? Just cause you don't have a personality doen't mean the rest of us shouldn't be alowed to at times too..." "Jubilee, if you don't shut up for a second, I'm going to have to take drastic measures..." "So what else is new, Monsiur Melodrama?" Gambit sauntered over to the couch and sat down. "De girl's excited, dats all." "yeah! So get your hands offa me or I'll..." "I was just going to suggest taking in a concert, is all." Scott held up two tickets in front of her face. "But if you prefer Bloomingdales..." Jubilee snatched the tickets out of Scott's hands. The grin that had materialized on her face quickly dissolved on close inspection of the tickets. "Jimmy Buffet? You got some weird sense of humor, Fearless Leader," "You see Jean, I told you she wouldn't go for it." Scott turned to his wife. "shall we make a day of it?" "Certainly." Jean turned to Gambit and Jubilee. "you two are on your own I'm afraid. Perhaps Ororo had better accompany you as a chaperone." "YOu sayin' we can' take care o' ourselves, Chere?" "Not at all. I just thought that since she had insisted on going anyway..." "Will you cut the blabbin' please? I wanna get some serious shopping in today!" +++++++++ "Wow! Can you believe it Chuck? Here we are, the Big Apple! Time to see famous people! Broadway stars! FAO Schwartz! The New Yorker! Spiderman! Norman Rockwell! Andrew Carnegie! Wow!" "Uh, actually, sir, Andrew Carnegie isn't on the list of things to see. He's not even alive." Marcy held the brochure infront of her friend. "But Spiderman is here, and so are the Fantastic Four." "Gimme that, Marcy, and don't call me sir." "Yes sir." "Aughhhhh!" "Hey look! There's the Hard Rock Cafe! And Planet Hollywood!" Charlie Brown stared out the window. Snoopy hopped up next to him. "Bleah." "What's wrong, Snoopy?" Patty asked. "Don't you like Planet Hollywood?" Snoopy turned up his nose, but his eyes lit up as he saw another, smaller resteraunt. He turned to Charlie Brown. *NOw there's a restraunt! Harry's Hideaway!* "I tell you Marcy, that Snoopy's a weird kid." +++++++++ "How did Gambit ever let you talk him into dis, chere?" "Do you dislike the art museum, Remy?" "Not at all, Stormy, jus' don' much like de kids dat be roamin' all over it." "I would appreciate it if you refrained from calling me 'Stormy." "Sure t'ing, Stormy." Ororo sighed. "Perhaps when Jubilee returns form the gift shop, we can find some place to eat." "now dat be more Gambit's style, chere." +++++++++ "Hey! watch where you're going!" Jubilee turned to see who it was that had just pushed her into the table of jewlery she had been admiring. she immeadiately spotted the strange beagle with the sunglasses. "Woah. Someone around here has a rotten sense of humor." +++++++++ "Chere, did you jus' see who walked by?" "no Remy," Ororo continued to study the painting across form her position. "Why?" "I coulda sworn it was de Prof." "It's not likely." "I know, but 'e was bald, an' someone called him Chuck." That got her attention. "Are you certain?" "Would Gambit lie to you?" Remy turned to his former partner. "Don' answer dat," He dashed after the retreating figure. Suddently, there was a sonic boom. +++++++++ BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! +++++++++ Jubilee looked up at the group above her. *Ah no. Not again. These guys have even less fashion sense than Psylocke. They're even WEARING less.* It was the Phalanx. They seemed to be heading for the couple standing next to her. "OBJECT JUBILEE, FOR IMMEADIATE ASSIMILATION." Than again, maybe not. Jubilee turned and ran down the hall. "Gambit! Storm! We got company!" +++++++++ "'Ey! Slow down! Woah!" Charlie Brown glanced behind him and saw that the man who'd been following him suddenly stop. "Hey Chuck, what are you looking at?" Patty followed his gaze and saw something incredibly strange. "Wow, Chuck! New York really is the place for excitement, huh?" she was staring at the teenage girl who had jsut run up behind the man who'd been tailing Charlie Brown. Behind her was another woman with white hair, and a strange mass of yellow circuitry. +++++++++ "Jubilee, why'd you have to go runnin' in like dat? Dis is one o' de most crowded parts of the gallery, an' the Phalanx be followin' you. 'Sides, I t'ink I saw de Proffessor." "why would the Proffessor be here? and why would he be running?" "I don' know, but I coulda sworn I saw him." "Gambit, we have worse problems at the moment." "I can see dat, Stormy, but if I did see de Prof, den we gotta protect... aw hell." +++++++++ "sir, I think we should be getting out of here..." Marcy tugged on Patty's sleeve. +++++++++ "Don't call me Stormy." +++++++++ "Don't call me Sir." +++++++++ Storm and Patty looked at each other. Both sense a kindred spirit. "Look out chere!" Gambit quickly takled Storm as the Phalanx attempted to grab her from behind. He tossed some cards behind him for good measure. "OBJECT GAMBIT: WE HAVE LONG SINCE ADJUSTED TO YOUR POWERS. THEY HAVE NO EFFECT ON US." "You know, I was kinda hoping dat dis was a new batch an' hadn' learned dat trick yet," "What are we supposed to do now?" Jubilee shouted over the melee of screaming humans. Snoopy lept to the front of the crowd, his paws balled and ready to fight. "OBJECT DOG. NO THREAT. IGNORE." The Phalanx reached past Snoopy towards the X-men. Snoopy bit it. "34528EAT. 7593DJUSTING. ASSIMILATE DOG." "Nuh-UH!" Jubilee lept in front of Snoopy. "You ain't assimilating nobody!" Charlie Brown had been watching the battle from behind Marcy. When he saw the Phalanx going for his best friend, however, he stepped out. "Get back kid!" Gambit shouted, and he reached for him. Snoopy mistook this for a threat, and bit him. "Owwwwwww," The Phalanx reached for Gambit while his attention was on Charlie Brown. Gambit quickyly lept out of the way, and Storm flew upward to a new position. The rest of the school kids began backing off, but Charlie Brown held his ground. He was sick of just being an average school kid, and his dog was in trouble. The Phalanx went for him, seeing an easy target for assimilation. "OBJECT BROWN, PREPARE FOR ASSIMILATION" It grabbed Charlie Brown by the arm. Gambit tried to shout out for him to rum, but was drowned out by a strange screeching noice. he looked towards the Phalanx, and was surprised to see it shrinking. "42424242442424242424COMPENSATE, 66666666UNABLE4444444 444444OVERID3333333" Gambit watched in amazement as the Phalanx compacted itself into a small PC. Closer inspection proved that his first instinct was right. It was your plain old average computer. In fact, some may have gone so far as to call it wishy-washy. "How'd he do dat?" Peppermint Patty cautiously walked up next to him. "What is that?" "It was one o' de biggest t'reats to mankind, but ow its jus' an ordinary computer." Patty's eyes lit up. She clapped the stunned Charlie Brown on the back. "Chuck, you did it! Hey Marcy, what exactly did he do?" "The thing said it was going to assimilate him. I think it absorbed his ordinariness and couln't compenate for it, so it regressed into an average state. It's the only logical solution sir." "you here dat Stormy?" "DONT CALL ME-" Patty and Storm broke off and laughed. "Are you children hungry?" +++++++++ "So how did you defeat the Phalanx?" "I told you, we didn't." Jubilee glared at Cyclops. "some kid did." "and What did this kid look like?" "Well, Gambit thought he was Xavior at first, but he actually looked more like Strong Guy, only a lot shorter and smaller, and he wasn't wearing sunglasses... but his dog was." "What?!" Jubilee sighed. This was going to take a lot of explaining. ++++++++++ "and that's my report on New York." Charlie Brown finished. he looked up from his paper. "Wanh, wanh wanh." "Yes ma'am that's exactly what happened." "Wanh wanh wanh wanh wanh." "Okay ma'am. Good Grief. After all that, I got a C because she thinks I have an overactive imagination. I don't think the Phalanx absorbed much of my wishy-washyness at all." The End +++++++++