"Truths - Logan and Jean" by Victor Moore (bic@shaka.com) DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. Marvel does. I'm just one of the many trying to help put character back into 'em. CONTINUITY: Scant seconds after X-Treme X-Men #2 but before UXM #394 and New X-Men #114. RATING: 'PG for some tree abuse. Archival Status: Sure, just let me know. -Enjoy! ----- The wind carried the touch of early winter as it swept across a small clearing behind Xavier's School for Gifted Children. Goosebumps formed on the sweat-covered skin of a short and shirtless man practicing exercises by himself, but it went unnoticed. His mind was empty of such distractions, for the only thing that mattered were the forms. The graceful fluidity of Tai Chi turned into the quick jabs of Boxing followed by the snap movements of Karate and so on. Knowledge of numerous styles of martial arts from around the world showed through his practice and yet as varied as they were, he was a master of none. In the middle of a long and complex set, his mind exploded in a scream and ended with a whisper. "Betts?" Absently wiping the blood leaking from his nose, he sat down to collect his thoughts. Desperately searching for an answer that would deny the feeling he knew was true. There had been a bond between them once due to their affair with the Hand. All he had to do was concentrate and he could point her out with his senses blocked, even if she was a half a world away he could feel her - faint but a constant buzz in the back of his mind. Since the incident with the Shadow King in Africa some time ago, it had disappeared. Silently he missed it, but he went on like it did not matter. He had been wrong. It had not vanished, but just remained muted in the background. For now even the silence was gone. Betsy had died, and knowing her it had been saving the life of a friend. He stared at the back of his hand. There was wetness on it, where he had wiped his tears. When was the last time he had cried? He did not remember. For the next hour, he just stared at his hands, turning them slowly under the fading sunlight. "Logan?" Jean's voice was laced with concern. He smelled her minutes ago, but had hoped she would leave. Talking was something he did not want to do, especially since he was at a loss for words. "Yeah Red?" He heard the creaking of her leather jacket and pants as she sat down next to him. A glance confirmed that she was wearing the new uniform. His steel-gray eyes widened when he met her green ones, swollen and red with a slight puffiness around the edges. His calloused hand gently wiped away a tear as it fell down her wet cheek. "What's wrong?" "She's gone, Logan. Betsy is gone." "I know." A sniffle was the only warning he had before she grabbed hold of him and cried into his shoulder. He hugged her until her sobs stopped and she broke the embrace. "I'm sorry about that. Usually I'm more composed than... wait a moment. You already knew? How? I haven't even told the others yet." Logan tapped his head lightly. "Ah. I should've known she'd choose you." "What do you mean?" Lying back in the grass, Jean stared up at a sky with night stars just beginning to shine. "All people have an unconscious need to bond with another. It's part of human nature. People need an anchor of sorts, to keep them stable. "Imagine a sea where a violent hurricane lives: waves crashing, winds howling, rain drowning, etc. Now place yourself in the midst of all that. That's what being a telepath is like. In the chaotic mess of human thoughts, dreams, and desires is where we exist. Telepaths need a sense of stability to help them deal with the pressures from the storms." "Thus the bond." "Yes. You were Elisabeth's center, her anchor." "Because of that, I felt her death." "Like how I did. When Betsy's and my powers were switched it created a similar bond between us. But not as powerful as yours." She sat up and put a hand on his shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it, Logan? I know what it's like, losing a bond like this with a loved one." "Loved? Me an' Betts weren't like that, Red." "Then what was she to you?" He looked at her long and hard, knowing that Jean could just waltz into his mind and see the answers herself, but would not. She followed a code of honor about using her telepathy. And honor was something he was all too familiar with. "She was my partner. Betts was the one person I could depend upon to watch my back without ever asking her to. She was my friend. Just like you." "No Logan, not like me. And you know that. As much as we wish it were true, I could never... protect you like she could." "She would've protected Warren first, or even that Neal kid, before she would me. So she is like you because you would protect Scott--" A finger touched his lips, effectively halting his words. "Not so. She was hurting, Logan, trying to find herself. You gave her that stability in the storm. Why did you distance yourself from her?" "I didn't." "Yes you did. Slowly but surely you did. And I know she felt hurt and confused by that, especially after the Shadow King affair where she consciously gave up her powers." Logan rose to his feat and walked a couple of steps away from her. "She had Warren to help her." "So you stayed away because of that." "Yes." "And after she and Warren split?" "She had the Neal kid." "Y'know, Warren kept bragging how he saved Elisabeth's life by sacrificing a piece of his heart to the Crimson Dawn. A romantic tale of love he called it. Get a couple of beers into him and he'll tell it to you." "Flamin' kid! All he did was moan and groan about the whole thing. He wouldn't know what real love was if it bit him in his rich ass!" Logan stared at the claws protruding from the back of his left hand. A small trickle of blood slid down the blades. "But he had Elisabeth's love, right?" "Yeah." "And you followed him to get this elixir which could save her life, right?" "No! I went to get it. He followed me!" "And you let him, knowing full well he was in love with her, right?" "I told him he was in no condition to go, that I could do it." "So you watched as he did the deed, gave a piece of his heart for Elisabeth, right?" "No -- I was fighting Tar, giving the kid enough time to do it." "But?" "But I should've done it! Me! A piece of me almost died when I found out what Creed had done to her. If I had given her my soul instead of him she'd might still be alive!" "Then why didn't you?" Sheathing his claws, he leaned against the freshly scarred tree. "Because she was in love with him. It was his right." "Logan, as much as I love the guy, Warren will never truly understand love, because love is more than the giving of a piece of your heart. But you would've given your life for her, right?" "In a heartbeat." "Would you have given her your whole soul?" "Yes." "Warren wouldn't. Oh he'd say he would, but deep down we all know he couldn't." "Then why did he do it?" "Because he was losing her. In his mind, she was the market that was going on a downward trend. So he did what was necessary to make her feel valuable to him again." "And it worked." "For a bit. Remember, Warren did not provide her with the stability of self that she needed. She had to continue to search for that. You were that person, but because you distanced yourself from her..." "She never found what she was looking for." Logan finished her sentence. Jean brushed the grass of her pants after getting up off the ground. "Did you cry for her?" "Excuse me?" "Did you cry for Betsy?" Those green eyes that stared at him gently demanded an answer. Tearing his away, he nodded. "When was the last time you cried liked that?" "Just after Mariko died." The admission was just a whisper. "That hurt a lot, didn't it?" "Yes." "And Elisabeth's death, does it hurt the same?" "Yes." "Why?" He stared at her. Mariko's death had had a devastating impact on him. But Elisabeth's passing was just as overwhelming, why was that? He had been sad when Illyana passed away; she had great potential, more so then Petey did. Yet their deaths didn't mean as much to him, not like Mariko's and Betts' did. Mentally he went down the long list of names of people he considered friends that had passed away. The closest was the Silver Fox, but not quite as powerful. Then it hit him, a single truth uncovered from the dark depths of his soul. He sank to his knees. "I was in love with her. And I didn't even know it. How could I've been so blind?" Jean followed him, and held his head with her delicate hands. "She was just as blind as you, Logan. When it comes down to it, all the powers, abilities, and intelligence we can achieve is nothing when it concerns strong emotions. Emotions know no racial and prejudicial boundaries, they're what makes us human." "I don't know what to say." "When the time is right, you will." With that, she gave him a hug. The warmth from the embrace reminded him that the night air was cold. He could not help the involuntary shiver that escaped him. They stood up and started back towards the mansion. "One thing I don't get. How did you know Betts had died?" It would take a while before he would be comfortable that Elisabeth was gone, but at least he could finally admit it to himself now. She smiled as his dark leather jacket glided to him. Snatching it, he stated, "I see... How about we go get some dinner from Harry's, my treat." "You're treating?" Jean acted surprised, though her gleeful eyes gave the act away. "Just a small way of saying 'thanks'." Jean stopped, faced him, then bent down and kissed him on the cheek. "You're welcome." ---- Notes: This is a story about the bond Elisabeth and Logan shared. The mainstream writers had a tendency to forget it, but I always wanted to address why it existed. Hopefully I'll have a short series of stories on how people deal with Elisabeth's death and exposing a certain truth or aspect about their relationship with her.