Summary: Spike is rescued from the rubble of Sunnydale by a powerful group of people who work for the Balance. Spike has a long journey ahead of him, healing physically and spiritually. But will his journey lead him to Buffy?  (This fic puts Spike through the proverbial ringer; it's about his journey and his healing after the events of Chosen.).."..:

Warnings: Angst, Language, Sexual Situations, Adult Themes

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Haven
by Xela


.:. Chapter 12: The Consequence of Dreaming .:.

Leto woke up in the rehab room and scrambled to his feet.  A wave of gratitude rushed over him when he realized that Sirra was the only one there.  She’d somehow convinced everyone to leave; that was good, because they didn’t need anyone else seeing this.  He caught motion out of the corner of his eye as Alanna stirred.  He nodded to Sirra, who slipped quietly out of the room when she realized they’d all awoken.  When Spike came to, he screamed, a sound filled with rage and repression and pain.  It was a raw, animal sound.

Seething rage sliced through Leto, his demon surging forward and demanding that he hunt down the vampire who called himself Spike’s Sire, yet treated him so viciously.  He turned and regarded his mate and Spike.  Alanna gathered Spike to her, her hands running soothingly through his hair, soft words of encouragement murmured reassuringly.  Spike did not appear to be fully cognizant, his mind still hiding from the real world.  Leto moved towards him, but Alanna’s mental voice froze him.

No.  He felt the strength of her command through the mating bond, and the certitude that her mate would NOT disobey her in this matter.  Leto’s anger flared anew, hot and violent, but with an underlying coldness that promised this was not a fleeting matter; he would carry his hatred of Spike’s so-called Sire for the rest of his life.  Leto’s eyes narrowed and he growled his displeasure at her, a deep, dangerous sound.  He took a deliberate step towards his mate and the broken vampire before him.

You will NOT take another step, Leto Aurelius!  Her eyes blazed at him, and her tone brooked no argument.  His demon wanted to break free and punish her, make her weep for daring to challenge him, to keep him away from comforting what was his.

YOU will not keep me away! he growled, his mental fury slamming into her.  She gasped at the force of his anger, but she didn’t give an inch.  They were equals, and she wasn’t backing down.

I will if you don’t get control of yourself!  Your anger has no place here.  You may be pissed at Angelus—I want to track him down right now myself—but Spike’s not going to see the difference.  All he’s going to feel is anger, and I’d imagine his trust is a pretty fragile thing right now.  His demon howled at her, but Leto forcefully pushed it back.  She was right; he could deal with Angelus later, and he had been given enough of Spike already.  Right now, Leto needed to put Spike first.  He closed his eyes and went through a series of meditation techniques, calming himself, pushing the anger back.  His mate sent him soothing thoughts, their battle of wills already a distant memory, one in a long line of similar occurrences on both sides.

Leto waited until he felt Alanna’s unspoken permission.  Carefully, he approached the distraught vampire.  He pressed himself against Spike, letting his now-docile demon forward.  He reached out, demon-to-demon, trying to calm the turmoil he could feel rolling off the younger man.  A deep, soothing purr rumbled through his chest, spreading through Spike.  The response was almost instantaneous, as his shoulders relaxed and his breathing began to even.  He slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Gently, Alanna rolled Spike into Leto’s arms, arranging the young vampire into a comfortable position.  Leto rose fluidly, supporting Spike as if he weighed nothing.  Alanna proceeded them, her eyes flinty and challenging.  Anyone who encountered them in the hallways suddenly found other places to be, their eyes skittering over the three figures as they rushed to get away.

Leto’s attention was focused unwaveringly on the figure cradled in his arms.  He simply followed Alanna without paying attention to their surroundings.  Spike shifted, whimpering slightly, and Leto's demon responded instinctively, a soft purr echoing in his chest.  Leto frowned slightly; his demon was acting extremely possessive, almost as if Spike were…his childe.  Which was preposterous.  He had never felt inclined to make or take a childe.  Such an act was a huge responsibility, akin to becoming a parent; he’d be responsible for their actions, required to teach them the lore, guide them…

Basically do all the things you’ve already been doing… Alanna’s voice cut in, carrying an undercurrent of amusement and satisfaction.  He rolled his eyes; other people had voices in their heads, he got a Slayer.  Leto almost tripped.  For the first time, he took his gaze off the sleeping form in his arms.

I’m not.  I’m just doing what you…  Her laughter rang clearly in his mind, and a brief smile cut through the scowl on her face. 

YOU KNEW!  You…you PLANNED this!  It came out far sulkier and accusatory than he intended.

And you thought I asked you to spend time together because I had </i>Yoga classes. <i>We’ve been mated how long again?  He glowered at her back, the smugness coming through the bond adding to his ire.

You could have just asked!  He didn’t bother to hide his irritation.

Oh, yes, that would have been brilliant.  ‘Hey, Leto, you know how you’ve refused to entertain the idea of a childe for, oh, like over a thousand years?  Well, I’d like you to become Spike’s surrogate Sire!’  It’s the alliteration that would have convinced you, right?

He really hated how easily she manipulated him sometimes.  He never fell for this shit.

Never is a strong word, she said with a mental grin. He growled at her in irritation, cringing when Spike pulled away at the sound.  It sobered them both, and they made the rest of the trip in silence.

***********************************

Spike bolted up right, his head swimming.  He realized he was gasping and consciously stopped breathing, pushing down the physical manifestations of his panic.  He looked around the unfamiliar room, fighting down the numbing fear when he realized he had no idea where he was.  He closed his eyes, fighting back the swell of emotions that overwhelmed him. 

“Spike?”  He knew that voice.  A face, a woman with brilliant gold-red hair.  No, there was something wrong with the picture.  The face blurred, then divided.  There were two people, two women.  Alanna.  That name fit the one with a riot of curls, her hair framing her face like a lion’s mane.  But the other…he felt a sense of deja vu, like he should know her.

“Spike?”  The image and the pseudo-memory shattered.  He opened his eyes, and saw Alanna.  Images and memories, snippets of his life tore through his head, rushed through him, a colorful blur of pain and degradation.  He squeezed his eyes when he realized Alanna and Leto had been there, had seen…God.  He’d been week.  He’d been week and helpless, and they seen the whole bloody show.  He almost welcomed the intense disgust.

“Hey, now, none of that!  We went through a lot to get you back.”  She smiled gently, the tortured blue eyes tearing at her heart.  “What’s say we hold off on round two?”  Spike managed a choked, forced laugh that almost threw him back into a sob.  His emotions felt so raw, so unbearably vulnerable. 

“How are you?” Leto’s voice asked from behind him.  Spike shook his head, not trusting himself to speak.  For some reason, Leto’s slight touch, his hand on Spike’s back, brought soothing relief.

“You don’t need to say anything,” Alanna murmured.  Spike glanced at her and through the torrent of his own emotions, realized she was different.  Spike glommed on to the distraction studying this new side of the fiery slayer presented; anything to keep his mind off of…

He looked at her, the impatient buzz that usually surrounded her completely gone.  She was calm, a warrior who could face down a rush of uber-vamps.  A shudder raced through him, but he ignored it.  This composed, earnest woman was why all of the people he’d met at Haven deferred to her, why he saw respect and admiration on every face they passed.  This was the fighter, in the aftermath of battle…a battle that had taken place for him.  The thought alone was enough to humble him, and he turned his attention to Leto.

Leto’s green eyes locked with his own, and he couldn’t look away.  His gaze was probing, questioning but not demanding.  They searched him, as if Leto was afraid Spike would decide to take another field trip through the more debasing parts of his past.  He was…concerned and poised for action.  He remembered Leto’s sacrifice, his whispered words, and Alanna’s challenge, her demand.  The depth of their emotions, still visible and directed at him in the intimate setting of their own bedroom, the scents of their every-day life heavy on the air, was intense and powerful.  In that moment, Spike realized that he had affected them just as much as they had irrevocably changed him…and the thought was energizing.  They cared. He smiled his acknowledgment and thanks.

“We have a proposition for you,” Leto ventured.  Spike regarded them with interest, and Leto felt a tendril of pleased satisfaction drift through him.  The changes in Spike were subtle, but they were there.  There was trust in the younger vampire’s gaze, instead of the wariness that everyone else was subjected to, as if he was just waiting for them to play a round or two of Kick the Spike.

“We want to be a part of you therapy,” Alanna said, settling herself on the edge of the bed.

“’twould be rude, leavin’ Lips out of a job,”  he answered, his voice rough and strained.  But he met Alanna’s delighted chuckle with a small one of his own, relaxing in his complete trust of the people in front of him.  He’d never felt this relaxed and safe with anyone.

“Oh no.  There will be no usurping Sirra.  She’d totally massage me to death.”

“We want to be there.  For you.  I’m going to keep teaching you, things that…” Leto trailed off, his anger spiking at the mere thought of Angelus.  But he shook it off; there would be time for that later.  “Things that you should have been taught.  If you’re willing.”  Leto’s jade eyes boring into Spike’s.  Spike cocked his head to one side and leveled an assessing gaze at his elder.  He sensed something underneath the surface, something unsaid, but what it was eluded Spike.  He was surprised when Leto broke eye contact first, his eye flicking away from the younger vampire’s searching blue gaze. 

Alanna threaded her fingers through her mate's, offering support and reassurance through the bond.  He turned and inhaled her scent, finding strength in her familiarity.  Of course she supported this; she’d engineered it from the start.

“I’m not really sure how you did it,” Leto said gruffly.  He felt Alanna’s mental nudge and shooed her off.  He hadn’t been raised where speaking of his feelings was safe or expected, and the words never came easy to him.  Taking a deep, calming breath, Leto looked at the young vampire who had somehow wormed his way so deep within him that his pain resonated within Leto’s own breast.  His demon purred its approval.  “But I love you…Childe.”

Spike felt the world tilt dangerously, but he could only concentrate on the one word: childe.  Leto’s lectures swam through his head, silly didactic treatises about the childer, sires…and adoption.  Leto had just effectively declared himself Spike’s sire.


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